Sibling Groups and Keeping Brothers and Sisters Together

When children come into care, one of the most consequential decisions is whether brothers and sisters can live together. For many, the sibling bond is the longest, steadiest thread in a life full of change. Done well, keeping siblings together protects identity, preserves shared memories, and strengthens resilience. Done poorly—or when separation is unavoidable without enough thought—it can compound loss and unsettle placements. This guide explains why sibling placements matter, what UK law and guidance say, and how foster carers and agencies can make togetherness safe and sustainable.

Why sibling relationships matter in care

The protective effect of siblings

Research and advocacy consistently show that strong sibling bonds can buffer stress, improve stability, and help children make sense of their story. Siblings share history, language and family culture; in care, those anchors can reduce loneliness and anxiety. The Children’s Commissioner’s work highlights siblings as a source of continuity and “protective effect,” especially when wider relationships have fractured.

When togetherness may not be right

There are exceptions. Some children have experienced intra-sibling harm or have needs that are incompatible in a shared home right now. Good assessments are child-by-child and relationship-by-relationship, weighing risk, history, and each child’s wishes. Reviews of research conclude that while joint placement is generally desirable, decisions must be individualized and evidence-led, not automatic.

The legal duty to keep siblings together—so far as reasonably practicable

What the Children Act requires

English law places a clear duty on local authorities: when deciding where a looked-after child will live, they must, so far as reasonably practicable, enable the child to live with any sibling who is also looked after. This duty sits in section 22C of the Children Act 1989, and it is central to care planning and matching.

Care Planning Regulations and practice guidance

The Care Planning, Placement and Case Review (England) Regulations 2010 and the associated Children Act 1989 guidance (Volume 2) reinforce the expectation that planning considers sibling placement and, where siblings live apart, sets out contact that sustains the relationship. The guidance also signposts oversight by the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO), who should ensure sibling contact and relationships are considered at reviews. GOV.UK

The IRO’s role on sibling contact

Family Rights Group summarises the guidance clearly: arrangements for sibling contact should be regularly reviewed, and siblings who are looked after should ordinarily share the same IRO to help coordinate plans and advocacy across the group.

Bedroom sharing and practical home considerations

The National Minimum Standards on bedrooms

The Fostering Services: National Minimum Standards (NMS) state that each child over the age of three should have their own bedroom. Where this is genuinely not possible, any plan to share must be explicitly agreed by the responsible authority after assessing risks, wishes and needs, and each child must have their own defined space. Many councils’ local policies mirror and expand this point for everyday decision-making.

Age, needs and exceptions

Some agencies describe tightly controlled exceptions—for example, short-term sharing between siblings when carefully risk-assessed, or under-3s sharing where it is safe and developmentally appropriate. These are not blanket permissions; they are assessed case by case and recorded in the child’s plan and the foster home risk assessment.

Making your home sibling-ready

Sibling groups often need flexible sleeping arrangements, more storage, two study areas, and clear bathroom routines. Carers can work with their agency to agree safer-caring rules about privacy, visitors, and bedtimes. The fostering service should support reasonable adjustments and equipment, and placement plans should spell out any adaptations or supervision levels required.

The reality: a tight market for placements

Why sibling groups are harder to place

In England, capacity pressures make it harder to find homes that can safely accommodate two or more children. Recent official statistics and sector analysis show a continuing squeeze on fostering households, with approvals not keeping pace with carers leaving. That compounds the challenge of matching sibling groups well and can lead to unnecessary separations when sufficiency is low.

What helps in practice

Prospective and experienced carers who can take siblings are highly valued. Agencies may offer enhanced support, additional training, and practical help with transport for school and contact. Honest conversations about ages, bedroom configurations and behaviours improve the chances of a stable match.

Assessment and matching for sibling groups

What social workers should share

Quality referrals describe each child and the sibling dynamic: attachment patterns, any history of conflict or caring roles within the sibling set, routines, schools, health, and the plan for contact with parents and wider family. Good referrals also explain why togetherness is recommended now—or why a phased or split plan is proposed.

Questions carers can ask before saying yes

Carers can ask how each child manages emotions, what triggers arguments, how repair looks after conflict, and what supervision is expected at bedtime or after school. It helps to see a weekend timetable, including hobbies and contact travel. Clarify who attends school meetings, how the IRO and social workers will coordinate the group, and what happens if the plan needs to change.

Saying yes or no safely

A principled “no” is better than an unsafe “yes.” If the home does not meet NMS bedroom expectations and a sharing exception has not been risk-assessed and agreed in writing, it is reasonable to decline. Similarly, if the information is insufficient to keep everyone safe, ask for more detail or a transition plan first.

Contact plans when brothers and sisters live apart

Designing meaningful contact

Where siblings cannot live together, contact is not a nice-to-have; it is a core part of permanence planning. Plans should be specific about frequency, duration, supervision, transport, and how the children will be prepared and supported before and after sessions. Contact should evolve with age and according to each child’s wishes and feelings.

Review and oversight

The IRO should check at each review whether contact still fits the children’s needs and whether barriers—like transport or scheduling—are being tackled. Plans should also link school calendars and therapy appointments so contact enhances, rather than disrupts, progress in other areas.

Recording well

Carers should keep factual, respectful notes about interactions during and after contact, using neutral language and avoiding assumptions about motives. Records that describe observable behaviour, emotional states, and helpful strategies are far more useful than opinions when courts or professionals later consider changes.

Fees, allowances and support for larger households

What to expect financially

Core fostering allowances are intended to cover a child’s day-to-day costs, with agencies and councils setting additional fee structures to recognise carers’ skills and availability. For sibling groups, total payments are typically calculated per child, but practical support—like mileage, equipment, and respite—often makes the bigger difference to sustainability. Check your local authority or IFA schedule, and ensure placement paperwork itemises any extras linked to contact or transport.

Daily life: helping siblings thrive together

Balancing together time and individual time

Siblings need both. Shared routines—meals, reading, school runs—build togetherness and safety. Individual time with each child nourishes identity and reduces rivalry. A predictable weekly rhythm helps everyone know when their “one-to-one” moments will happen.

Repair after conflict

Teach and model calm-down steps, use consistent language for feelings, and practise quick repair rituals after arguments. Predictable de-escalation approaches and agreed boundaries reduce flashpoints and help children trust that grown-ups can keep them safe.

School and community connections

Let schools know that the children are siblings in care, involve the Virtual School where appropriate, and coordinate homework expectations to avoid unfair comparisons. Clubs and community groups are a great place to develop individual interests while keeping the sibling bond strong.

Supervision, safety and safer caring

Clear expectations

Sibling placements require crystal-clear safer-caring guidance: bathroom rules, overnight visitors, device use, and bedroom boundaries. These should sit in the household’s safer-caring policy and the placement plan, and be revisited after any incident or change in need.

Night-time and privacy

Respect privacy while being realistic about supervision. Consider door alarms for younger children only where assessed and agreed; generally, supervision should be relational, not intrusive, and should evolve as trust grows.

Health, identity and culture

Make space for each child’s cultural and faith needs, food preferences, and personal items. Brothers and sisters may have different identities and histories; help them celebrate both their shared story and what makes them unique.

Building a system around siblings

Commissioning and sufficiency

At system level, sufficiency strategies should explicitly model demand for different sibling sizes and ages and develop carer recruitment, support and housing partnerships accordingly. Where wider reforms are underway, sibling priorities need to be front and centre so local areas can avoid separations driven by capacity rather than children’s best interests.

Continuous improvement

Agencies can review disruption meetings and learning logs from sibling placements—both successful and struggling—to refine matching questions, training content and support offers. Peer support groups for carers of siblings (including Mockingbird or similar) provide practical wisdom and reduce burnout.

Key takeaways for carers and practitioners

Keeping brothers and sisters together is a cornerstone of good foster care, anchored in law and reinforced by guidance. When it is safe and in children’s best interests, local authorities must enable siblings to live together; when they cannot, contact should be robust, meaningful and reviewed. Decisions about bedroom sharing must follow the National Minimum Standards and be based on formal risk assessment and recorded agreements. Amid recruitment and capacity challenges, thoughtful matching, practical support and well-planned daily life are what turn a good intention—“keep them together”—into a stable, nurturing reality.